how Do I put my template I just downloaded to my site?

Check the readme in the theme package.

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The more we learn... the more we realize how little we actually know.

It says upload to the themes but I tried that with coffebreak.ftp and it just messed up the site so I had to fix it....

Try uploading the template to your TEMPLATES directory in your nuke site, then it automatic becomes available via profiles/themes for all your users, or you can set it as the defualt theme to your site via the administration panel.